


Winter hugs and hot chocolate

by jihunsbutt



Category: K-pop, NCT (Band)
Genre: Donghyuck tries to cheer Jaemin up, Fluff and Angst, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Renjun dies, Renjun is ill, Sorry Not Sorry, Why Did I Write This?, he fails, jaemin loses the love of his life, trust me - Freeform, trust the title
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-08 15:04:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14696649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jihunsbutt/pseuds/jihunsbutt
Summary: In the end, it all comes down to Renjun's death taking a toll on Jaemin's life, breaking the poor boy's heart and Donghyuck trying to fill the void that's way too deep for him, so he goes in search for someone else to do it for him.





	Winter hugs and hot chocolate

Like the warm summer weather, similar to hot chocolate and being covered in sheets during winter; much like craving hugs on a lonely night. Jaemin shed yet another tear at the thought of _him_. He who had been running in his mind for the last couple weeks, or has it already been months? It was kind of like the way trees shed their leaves during autumn when at the sadness of time; Jaemin shed his tears like the trees at his saddened hours which came close to making the hourworks, days. The short and long arms of his watch kept count by going in circles and circles. It's why he took out the batteries of his kitchen clock. It would let out a chime each hour much like a slap into his face while yelling "it has been yet another hour, will you ever grow up with the time or will it leave you behind, stuck in the darkness?" 

Jaemin, while sobbing would often whisper broken ’sorry's’ and shattered ’thank you's’ as if his pain and tears weren't enough, he would always put the blame on himself. It's not what Renjun would have wanted. He wouldn't have wanted for Jaemin to stay stuck in time, to get a permanent smell of instant noodles and sweat. But he especially didn't want him to remember him with tears. Renjun was a bitch about things like that. He wanted to be remembered like someone special, someone like a hero or someone known for his smile. He was always jealous of Jaemin for being recognized for his angel smile, although at the same time, he was proud for having 'the boy with the angel smile' as his boyfriend and lover. Jaemin on the other hand felt as if he was too little or not worthy of Renjun. The thought grew bigger and bigger when Renjun had _left_ , to say it like that. He felt as if him being there for Renjun was a waste for the last bits of time Renjun still had left. "You should be with someone else, someone more special than me, someone worthy of your time." It's what he always told him as he looked out of the window having a view of the entire city. Obviously not realizing that _he_ was Renjun's special someone. At late night the night sky would be the prettiest, Renjun and him used to look at the view together, holding hands while having the largest grins on their faces. The bright city lights taking dominance over the darkness of the night, shining brighter than all the stars combined. They both decided that even though, staring out of the hospital window fighting the visiting hours, _this_ was what they liked the most. Regardless of the cold atmosphere and the chilly hospital room where Renjun stayed. The fact that they could be together, even if it was just for a few hours, it was enough. More than enough to put a smile on Renjun's face, making Jaemin feel as if _he_ was the one who should be called 'angel smile' instead.

But aside Jaemin being a depressed boy ever since, it was no reason for him to call off or reject every appointment he has in his not-so-busy agenda. “Sure, repairing after losing someone dear to you is mentally crushing and heartbreaking but part of moving on, is letting go” exclaimed Donghyuck, Jaemin's close friend. He was tired of it, probably as much as Renjun would be if he could look down at Jaemin from above. Him being a slump, dragging behind time and cutting people off when instead of pushing away, he should embrace. Donghyuck wiped away many of Jaemin's tears and made sure to never leave Jaemin alone for even one second. The boy whom held everything together with just one string, snapped. He broke down in tears and completely paralyzed from the shock and the pain in his heart. The tears he tried to hold back while biting his lip. His voice no longer working not letting even one sound out of his mouth. His lungs just stopped breathing and the poor boy just lost all he ever had. The broken boy, stuck in time leaving rivers as a path to his ocean of tears. Donghyuck was there, to embrace the broken boy, to wipe his tears and to fill the hole in the poor boy's heart. But the void was to deep to fill and so even he, could do nothing more than to stand by his side, giving him a hand to squeeze in when the pain become too much and a heart to love him when he felt empty. _That_ is what Donghyuck has been doing for the past weeks. 


End file.
